Captain America Civil War Movie Review (Contains Spoilers)

*This review contains some spoilers but trust me when I say there’s not much to spoil.*

Captain America Civil War sucks so much! Oh, man! It’s undeniably amazing how much it sucks!
Whoever wrote the script must’ve been high as a kite. I mean, who in their right mind would cast Bea Arthur as Iron Man? Who?

Lol! But seriously though… I didn’t like Civil War that much. Sure, there’s one really cool airport fight scene in which Spiderman and Ant-man really shine but before and after that the storyline just seems stale and redundant. I know that Disney/Marvel likes to stick to a certain formula when it comes to the MCU franchise but they could’ve at least tried to add a little more substance to the story.

And no… the fact that Tony Stark’s parents were killed by a mind controlled Bucky (a.k.a. Winter Soldier) doesn’t count as substance because something very similar has been done many times before. *cough* Just about every Batman movie ever made. *cough*

I honestly believe the main reason people like this movie, other than the action sequences, is because they get to see Captain America inappropriately flex his CGI enhanced biceps whilst gripping a helicopter. And uh that’s okay if that’s your thing but it’s not my thing.

One big flaw, amongst others, that really irked me is the fact that the so called villain in this movie doesn’t even really act like a villain. He just seemingly appears and disappears without saying more than a few incoherent lines. Unless he’s not really the villain but if that’s the case then that means Captain America is the villain? Iron Man? Hulk? Oops. Hulk isn’t in this movie, neither is Thor.

How can you have an Avengers movie without Hulk and Thor? How?

Oh but it’s not an Avengers movie. It’s a Captain America movie. Hmmm. *insert sarcastic tone*

I could go on and on about all the things I don’t like about this movie but if I did I’d no doubt cause some Marvel fans to lose their retainers. I kid, I kid. (Chillax, bruh.)

When it comes right down to it I’m more of a DC Comics fan and yes I’m one of the few who thoroughly enjoyed Batman v Superman. That’s right… Batman v Superman is the shiznit! It rocks! It will always rock! Yes!!!

On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give Captain America Civil War 6 tamales.  ūüėé

(P.S. Batman v Superman rocks!!!)




Author: noiselessmadman

I write about movies, current events, art, literature, music and lots of other awesome stuff!

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