Horns Movie Review 

​In the aftermath of his girlfriend’s mysterious death, a young man awakens to find strange horns sprouting from his temples.
Horns is a pretty bizarre, weird, crazy, wacked out movie! And that’s what makes it so awesome!
Ig Perrish (Daniel Radcliffe) is wrongly accused of murdering his girlfriend. Just about everyone in his hometown treats him like an infectious monster. Then, as if things couldn’t get anymore complicated, two devil-like horns begin to grow out of his forehead.
The story is very well written! Though, it’s not surprising since it was adapted from a novel of the same title. Daniel Radcliffe also gives a pretty great performance. He’s definitely come a long way since his Harry Potter days.
If you like weird and awesomely unique movies then I highly recommend watching Horns!
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 9 tamales! 😎

The Hateful Eight Movie Review 

​While racing toward the town of Red Rock in post-Civil War Wyoming, bounty hunter John “The Hangman” Ruth (Kurt Russell) and his fugitive prisoner (Jennifer Jason Leigh) encounter another bounty hunter (Samuel L. Jackson) and a man who claims to be a sheriff. Hoping to find shelter from a blizzard, the group travels to a stagecoach stopover located on a mountain pass. Greeted there by four strangers, the eight travelers soon learn that they may not make it to their destination after all.
Quentin Tarantino’s movies are not for everyone. You either love ’em or hate ’em. Personally, I don’t hate ’em but I don’t consider myself to be a huge fan of his work. 
I expected The Hateful Eight to be an interesting western with that classic Tarantino twist and that’s exactly what it is.
Samuel L. Jackson and Kurt Russell both give strong and awesome performances. The story is very well written but it’s mostly dialogue driven. I believe Tarantino is known for having really interesting dialogue in his movies. This one is no exception.
Of course, no Tarantino movie would be complete without a messy ending. I’ll spare you the gory details but it does wrap everything up nicely. My only complaint is that the run time is just a bit too long but it at least allows each character to explain who they are and what their motivation is.
If you’re up for watching a western movie with a little bit of mystery and hyper realistic violence then I recommend watching The Hateful Eight.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 8 tasty tamales! 😎

A Bigger Splash Movie Review 

​While vacationing on a Sicilian island with her boyfriend (Matthias Schoenaerts), a rock star (Tilda Swinton) receives an unexpected visit from an old flame (Ralph Fiennes) and his seductive daughter (Dakota Johnson).
I had never heard of this movie before renting it but I’m glad I took a chance on it. Though, it might be a little too artsy for some people… it’s still worth watching at least once.
The entire story revolves around the familiar yet uncomfortable relationship between four people. Rock music is also a central theme but the only rock music played throughout the movie is that of The Rolling Stones.
Tilda Swinton plays Marianne Lane, a well known but fictitious rockstar who cannot speak due to a recent vocalcord surgery. She isn’t very believable as a rockstar but still gives a strong performance.
For me, the best performance comes from Dakota Johnson as Penelope Lannier. I mean, forget her in Fifty Shades of Grey. Her role in this movie is definitely worthy of praise and admiration.
I will admit that the first half of the movie is slow going but once it reaches the half hour mark the story takes an unexpected turn. I refuse to reveal exactly what happens. That would only spoil it.
If you like artsy movies with a rock theme and a little bit of mystery then I recommend watching A Bigger Splash.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 8.5 tamales! 😎

Doctor Strange Movie Review 

​After his career is destroyed, a brilliant but arrogant surgeon gets a new lease on life when a sorcerer takes him under his wing and trains him to defend the world against evil.
I didn’t know much about Doctor Strange to begin with but I was pretty impressed by this movie. I like the fact that the source of his powers come from the infinite energy of the multiverse.
I also really enjoyed the many cleverly choreographed action sequences. Most of them reminded me of another movie with very similar scenes, Inception. 
The ending leaves something to be desired but I assume there are many sequels in the works. I wouldn’t be surprised if Doctor Strange shows up in the next Avengers movie or several other Marvel movies.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give Doctor Strange 8 tasty tamales! 😎

Criminal Movie Review 

​CIA agent Bill Pope (Ryan Reynolds) dies while traveling to a secret location to meet a hacker who can launch missiles at will. Desperate to find his whereabouts, officials turn to an experimental neurosurgeon who can transfer memories from one brain to another. The guinea pig for the procedure is Jerico Stewart (Kevin Costner), a violent and dangerous death-row inmate. Now gifted with Pope’s skills and knowledge, Stewart must race against time to stop a sinister international conspiracy.
I did not like this movie very much. Well, the story itself is pretty intriguing and well written but it just felt like something was missing from each actors’ performance. Ryan Reynolds character doesn’t have a lot of screen time and dies way too early. Kevin Costner attempts to portray a bad ass psychopathic criminal but… the role doesn’t really suit him.
For me, the best performance comes from Gal Gadot who portrays Jill Pope, Bill Pope’s wife. Gadot delivers a surprisingly believable emotional performance.
I also found most of the action in this movie to be sparse and anticlimactic. The ending is the best part of the whole movie. Mostly because it wraps up everything in a nice little package!
I’d only recommend watching this movie if you’re really bored or really drunk. Or both.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give Criminal 6 tamales! 😎