The Veil Movie Review 

Thirty years after a charismatic cult leader convinced his followers to kill themselves, a survivor returns to the scene of the horror with a documentary crew.
I somewhat expected this to be a stereotypical horror movie but the story is actually quite intriguing. Yes, much of the acting falls flat and most of the action sequences are extremely cheesy but it does raise a lot of deep spiritual/philosophical questions.
I won’t comment much on Jessica Alba’s performance. She… did an okay job.
If you like movies about cults you might enjoy this but don’t expect anything groundbreaking.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give The Veil 5 tamales! ūüėé

Don’t Breathe Movie Review¬†

Rocky (Jane Levy), Alex and Money are three Detroit thieves who get their kicks by breaking into the houses of wealthy people. Money gets word about a blind veteran who won a major cash settlement following the death of his only child. Figuring he’s an easy target, the trio invades the man’s secluded home in an abandoned neighborhood. Finding themselves trapped inside, the young intruders must fight for their lives after making a shocking discovery about their supposedly helpless victim.
This isn’t your typical gory horror movie. It’s actually more of a psychological thriller with horror overtones… and I like that.
I mean, I’ve grown tired of the horror genre over the years. Most horror movies tend to be copycat versions of each other but every once in a while one of them will try something a little different that helps set them apart from the rest. Don’t Breathe does just that.
The entire cast gives pretty decent performances and the ending isn’t too surprising but it does leave the story open to a possible sequel.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give Don’t Breathe 8 tasty tamales! ūüėé

This Is The End Movie Review 

This Is The End is an apocalyptic movie with a comedic twist. I mean, it’s filled with an all-star comedic cast.
It begins with Seth Rogen picking up his long time friend Jay Baruchel from the Los Angeles airport. They make a quick stop at Carl’s Jr for some tasty burgers and then head over to Seth’s place where they smoke pot and play video games until the sun goes down.
Seth then tells Jay about a big party that James Franco is throwing at his newly built house. Jay is reluctant to go at first but decides to make a real effort at getting to know Seth’s other actor friends.
Once they arrive at Franco’s house they are greeted by a slew of familiar actors such as: Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, Craig Robinson, and Mindy Kaling.
Every actor in this movie plays a more exaggerated version of themselves. It’s an interesting thing to see unfold. One of the more noteworthy performances is by actor Michael Cera. He plays a coked up hyper sexualized version of himself. His scenes alone made me laugh out loud!
Eventually, the ground begins shaking violently and a giant sinkhole opens up in front of James Franco’s house. Everyone proceeds to panic and run around like chickens with their heads cut off. This causes a lot of people to trip and fall into the ominous looking sinkhole. 
Once all the pandemonium has died down, only six actors remain intact. James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, and Danny McBride hold up in Franco’s house for the rest of the movie.
They eventually figure out the reason for all of the earthquakes and sinkholes but I can’t go into great detail without giving away a crucial element of the story. However, it does involve a bad ass performance by Emma Watson. That’s right… the same Emma Watson that played Hermione in all those Harry Potter movies.
The ending might seem a bit over the top for some people but it definitely sums up everything nicely.
If you like insanely ridiculous but good comedies then you’ll love This Is The End!
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 9 sweet and spicy tamales! ūüėé

Goosebumps Movie Review 

When I was a kid, during the good old 1990s, I was completely hooked on the Goosebumps series by R.L. Stine! I went through the books like Pez. (Pez candy was another thing I was hooked on in the 90s.)
If this movie had been made back then I definitely would’ve watched it over a hundred times in a row. That’s not to say I don’t like it at all.
Zach (Dylan Minnette) reluctantly moves to a small town with his mom but then quickly cheers up after meeting his next door neighbor’s beautiful daughter, Hannah (Odeya Rush). He starts hanging out with her regularly until her father puts a stop to it. Of course, this just motivates Dylan to sneak into their house and attempt to “rescue” Hannah from her strict father.
He then comes upon an entire bookcase filled with original Goosebumps manuscripts and realizes that Hannah’s father is in fact the infamous R.L. Stine (Jack Black). Unfortunately, by then it’s too late because the first of many creatures/monsters has been released and begins terrorizing the town.
Zach, Zach’s friend Champ, Hannah, and R.L. Stine then spend the rest of the movie trying to figure out how to get all of Stine’s creations back into their respective books. Which turns out to be easier said than done.
I really enjoyed watching all of the monsters and creatures run amuck. It definitely brought back some cool childhood memories of reading about them. Some of my favorites include: The Abominable Snowman, Slappy, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, and the enormous praying mantis from Shocker on Shock Street. 
Jack Black gives a decent performance as R.L. Stine but I don’t know why in some scenes he spoke with a terrible snooty British accent. Unless, that’s just his way of trying to inject some classic Black humor into the movie.
Overall, the Goosebumps movie makes for a very enjoyable and nostalgic experience. I only wish I had seen it in 3D when it was still in theaters. Hopefully, I’ll be able to do so whenever the sequel comes out.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give the Goosebumps movie 8 tasty tamales! ūüėé

Ratter Movie Review 

‚ÄčRatter stars Ashley Benson as Emma, a graduate student living on her own in New York City for the first time. Little does she know that a hacker has gained access to all of her technological devices and proceeds to stalk her every move.
He watches her as she cooks, eats, dances, sleeps, and bathes. Eventually, he tires of just watching her from afar and starts physically stalking her. Why? Who knows why? No clearly defined reason is ever divulged.
The majority of the movie consists of video footage recorded from the hacker’s point of view. In other words, video recorded via Emma’s laptop, tablet, and smartphone. I liked this aspect of the movie because it makes the viewer feel as though they are watching actual events unfold.
Unfortunately, the story does fall a bit flat and most of the characters seem way too one dimensional. Ashley Benson gives a decent performance but even her hotness isn’t enough to add any depth to an otherwise stagnant story.
If you’re into movies with a voyeuristic edge then you’ll no doubt enjoy Ratter.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 7 tamales! ūüėé

Horns Movie Review 

‚ÄčIn the aftermath of his girlfriend’s mysterious death, a young man awakens to find strange horns sprouting from his temples.
Horns is a pretty bizarre, weird, crazy, wacked out movie! And that’s what makes it so awesome!
Ig Perrish (Daniel Radcliffe) is wrongly accused of murdering his girlfriend. Just about everyone in his hometown treats him like an infectious monster. Then, as if things couldn’t get anymore complicated, two devil-like horns begin to grow out of his forehead.
The story is very well written! Though, it’s not surprising since it was adapted from a novel of the same title. Daniel Radcliffe also gives a pretty great performance. He’s definitely come a long way since his Harry Potter days.
If you like weird and awesomely unique movies then I highly recommend watching Horns!
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 I give it 9 tamales! ūüėé

Crimson Peak Movie Review 

‚ÄčAfter marrying the charming and seductive Sir Thomas Sharpe, young Edith (Mia Wasikowska) finds herself swept away to his remote gothic mansion in the English hills. Also living there is Lady Lucille, Thomas’ alluring sister and protector of her family’s dark secrets. Able to communicate with the dead, Edith tries to decipher the mystery behind the ghostly visions that haunt her new home. As she comes closer to the truth, Edith may learn that true monsters are made of flesh and blood.
This movie surprised me. I thought it was going to be yet another mediocre horror movie but there’s actually more to the story.
Yes, there are plenty of ghoulish scenes but they are actually quite important to the development of the main character, Edith. Mia Wasikowska definitely gives a strong performance throughout the movie. As does the entire cast.
The cinematography also adds a lot of texture and color to each scene. It gives the movie a very gothic yet industrial look.
There are also some shocking plot twists that really round out the story nicely.
If you’re interested in watching a horror movie with some depth to it than I highly recommend watching Crimson Peak.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 8 tamales! ūüėé