The Veil Movie Review 

Thirty years after a charismatic cult leader convinced his followers to kill themselves, a survivor returns to the scene of the horror with a documentary crew.
I somewhat expected this to be a stereotypical horror movie but the story is actually quite intriguing. Yes, much of the acting falls flat and most of the action sequences are extremely cheesy but it does raise a lot of deep spiritual/philosophical questions.
I won’t comment much on Jessica Alba’s performance. She… did an okay job.
If you like movies about cults you might enjoy this but don’t expect anything groundbreaking.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give The Veil 5 tamales! ūüėé

Dog Eat Dog Movie Review 

Ex-cons, Troy (Nicolas Cage), Mad Dog (Willem Dafoe) and Diesel (Christopher Matthew Cook), are hired by an eccentric mob boss to kidnap a baby and hold it for a large ransom. When the abduction goes awry, the men find themselves on the run from the mob and the cops. Vowing to stay out of prison at all costs, getting away with the crime is a matter of life and death.
The first half of this movie is pretty decent and mildly entertaining. Unfortunately, the story goes to shit after the halfway point.
Nicolas Cage does not give a convincing performance nor does it look like he even tried. Willem Dafoe definitely gives the best performance throughout the entire movie but even that isn’t enough to polish this turd of a movie.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give Dog Eat Dog 5 tamales! ūüėé

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children Movie Review¬†

When his beloved grandfather leaves Jake clues to a mystery that spans different worlds and times, he finds a magical place known as Miss Peregrine’s School for Peculiar Children. But the mystery and danger deepen as he gets to know the residents and learns about their special powers – and their terrifying enemies. Ultimately, Jake discovers that only his own special peculiarity can save his new friends. Based on the novel “Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children,” written by Ransom Riggs.
I did not like this movie but that might be because I read the book before watching it. Still, I believe that even if I hadn’t read the book I still wouldn’t have liked the movie.
Way too many details have been altered and condensed in order to make the story slightly more palatable.
I don’t want to sound like a book snob but the book is definitely better.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children 6 tamales! ūüėé

Morgan Movie Review 

Morgan (Anya Taylor-Joy) is a bioengineered child who began walking and talking after one month of existence, exceeding the wildest expectations of her creators. When Morgan attacks one of her handlers, a corporate troubleshooter (Kate Mara) visits the remote, top-secret facility where she’s kept to assess the risks of keeping her alive. When the girl breaks free and starts running amok, the staff members find themselves in a dangerous lockdown with an unpredictable and violent synthetic human.
For the most part… this movie is an intriguing scifi thriller. Unfortunately, the bulk of the action occurs much too soon and seems somewhat forced. 
Kate Mara gives the most interesting performance but probably because her character has the biggest secret.
If you like intriguing scifi movies that aren’t bogged down by too many details then I recommend watching Morgan. 
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 7 tamales! ūüėé

John Wick 2 Movie Review 

Legendary hitman John Wick is forced back out of retirement by a former associate plotting to seize control of a shadowy international assassins’ guild. Bound by a blood oath to help him, John travels to Rome where he squares off against some of the world’s deadliest killers.
I really enjoyed the first John Wick movie and I enjoyed the sequel even more!
In chapter two, he faces off against even more bad guys and assassins. I attempted to keep a kill shot headcount but I lost track around number 24.
Keanu Reeves is nothing short of superb. The rest of the cast follows suit.
The story itself becomes a little more complex but builds up to an interesting cliff hanger ending. I don’t know when part three will be released but I definitely look forward to watching it!
If you like movies with a lot of intense action scenes then I highly recommend watching John Wick Chapter 2.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 9 tasty tamales! ūüėé

Logan Movie Review 

*This is a spoiler free review.*
In the near future, a weary Logan cares for an ailing Professor X in a hide out on the Mexican border. But Logan’s attempts to hide from the world and his legacy are up-ended when a young mutant arrives, being pursued by dark forces.
Logan definitely exceeded my expectations! 
I must admit… I didn’t care too much for the previous Wolverine movies. Sure, they were decent action packed comic book adaptations but they were also severely limited by their PG-13 rating(s). 
I believe Logan’s R rating allowed the story to remain true to its animalistic roots.
Hugh Jackman gives one of his best, if not the best, performances of his career. Patrick Stewart reaches new depths as Professor X and Dafne Keen is superb as X-23.
If you’re a fan of the Wolverine and/or X-Men movie franchise then I highly recommend watching Logan!
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 10 delicious tamales! ūüėé
*I’ll be posting a spoiler filled review at a later date.*

This Is The End Movie Review 

This Is The End is an apocalyptic movie with a comedic twist. I mean, it’s filled with an all-star comedic cast.
It begins with Seth Rogen picking up his long time friend Jay Baruchel from the Los Angeles airport. They make a quick stop at Carl’s Jr for some tasty burgers and then head over to Seth’s place where they smoke pot and play video games until the sun goes down.
Seth then tells Jay about a big party that James Franco is throwing at his newly built house. Jay is reluctant to go at first but decides to make a real effort at getting to know Seth’s other actor friends.
Once they arrive at Franco’s house they are greeted by a slew of familiar actors such as: Jonah Hill, Jason Segel, Craig Robinson, and Mindy Kaling.
Every actor in this movie plays a more exaggerated version of themselves. It’s an interesting thing to see unfold. One of the more noteworthy performances is by actor Michael Cera. He plays a coked up hyper sexualized version of himself. His scenes alone made me laugh out loud!
Eventually, the ground begins shaking violently and a giant sinkhole opens up in front of James Franco’s house. Everyone proceeds to panic and run around like chickens with their heads cut off. This causes a lot of people to trip and fall into the ominous looking sinkhole. 
Once all the pandemonium has died down, only six actors remain intact. James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, and Danny McBride hold up in Franco’s house for the rest of the movie.
They eventually figure out the reason for all of the earthquakes and sinkholes but I can’t go into great detail without giving away a crucial element of the story. However, it does involve a bad ass performance by Emma Watson. That’s right… the same Emma Watson that played Hermione in all those Harry Potter movies.
The ending might seem a bit over the top for some people but it definitely sums up everything nicely.
If you like insanely ridiculous but good comedies then you’ll love This Is The End!
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 9 sweet and spicy tamales! ūüėé