The Veil Movie Review 

Thirty years after a charismatic cult leader convinced his followers to kill themselves, a survivor returns to the scene of the horror with a documentary crew.
I somewhat expected this to be a stereotypical horror movie but the story is actually quite intriguing. Yes, much of the acting falls flat and most of the action sequences are extremely cheesy but it does raise a lot of deep spiritual/philosophical questions.
I won’t comment much on Jessica Alba’s performance. She… did an okay job.
If you like movies about cults you might enjoy this but don’t expect anything groundbreaking.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give The Veil 5 tamales! ūüėé

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Don’t Breathe Movie Review¬†

Rocky (Jane Levy), Alex and Money are three Detroit thieves who get their kicks by breaking into the houses of wealthy people. Money gets word about a blind veteran who won a major cash settlement following the death of his only child. Figuring he’s an easy target, the trio invades the man’s secluded home in an abandoned neighborhood. Finding themselves trapped inside, the young intruders must fight for their lives after making a shocking discovery about their supposedly helpless victim.
This isn’t your typical gory horror movie. It’s actually more of a psychological thriller with horror overtones… and I like that.
I mean, I’ve grown tired of the horror genre over the years. Most horror movies tend to be copycat versions of each other but every once in a while one of them will try something a little different that helps set them apart from the rest. Don’t Breathe does just that.
The entire cast gives pretty decent performances and the ending isn’t too surprising but it does leave the story open to a possible sequel.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give Don’t Breathe 8 tasty tamales! ūüėé

Goosebumps Movie Review 

When I was a kid, during the good old 1990s, I was completely hooked on the Goosebumps series by R.L. Stine! I went through the books like Pez. (Pez candy was another thing I was hooked on in the 90s.)
If this movie had been made back then I definitely would’ve watched it over a hundred times in a row. That’s not to say I don’t like it at all.
Zach (Dylan Minnette) reluctantly moves to a small town with his mom but then quickly cheers up after meeting his next door neighbor’s beautiful daughter, Hannah (Odeya Rush). He starts hanging out with her regularly until her father puts a stop to it. Of course, this just motivates Dylan to sneak into their house and attempt to “rescue” Hannah from her strict father.
He then comes upon an entire bookcase filled with original Goosebumps manuscripts and realizes that Hannah’s father is in fact the infamous R.L. Stine (Jack Black). Unfortunately, by then it’s too late because the first of many creatures/monsters has been released and begins terrorizing the town.
Zach, Zach’s friend Champ, Hannah, and R.L. Stine then spend the rest of the movie trying to figure out how to get all of Stine’s creations back into their respective books. Which turns out to be easier said than done.
I really enjoyed watching all of the monsters and creatures run amuck. It definitely brought back some cool childhood memories of reading about them. Some of my favorites include: The Abominable Snowman, Slappy, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, and the enormous praying mantis from Shocker on Shock Street. 
Jack Black gives a decent performance as R.L. Stine but I don’t know why in some scenes he spoke with a terrible snooty British accent. Unless, that’s just his way of trying to inject some classic Black humor into the movie.
Overall, the Goosebumps movie makes for a very enjoyable and nostalgic experience. I only wish I had seen it in 3D when it was still in theaters. Hopefully, I’ll be able to do so whenever the sequel comes out.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give the Goosebumps movie 8 tasty tamales! ūüėé

Horns Movie Review 

‚ÄčIn the aftermath of his girlfriend’s mysterious death, a young man awakens to find strange horns sprouting from his temples.
Horns is a pretty bizarre, weird, crazy, wacked out movie! And that’s what makes it so awesome!
Ig Perrish (Daniel Radcliffe) is wrongly accused of murdering his girlfriend. Just about everyone in his hometown treats him like an infectious monster. Then, as if things couldn’t get anymore complicated, two devil-like horns begin to grow out of his forehead.
The story is very well written! Though, it’s not surprising since it was adapted from a novel of the same title. Daniel Radcliffe also gives a pretty great performance. He’s definitely come a long way since his Harry Potter days.
If you like weird and awesomely unique movies then I highly recommend watching Horns!
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 I give it 9 tamales! ūüėé

Crimson Peak Movie Review 

‚ÄčAfter marrying the charming and seductive Sir Thomas Sharpe, young Edith (Mia Wasikowska) finds herself swept away to his remote gothic mansion in the English hills. Also living there is Lady Lucille, Thomas’ alluring sister and protector of her family’s dark secrets. Able to communicate with the dead, Edith tries to decipher the mystery behind the ghostly visions that haunt her new home. As she comes closer to the truth, Edith may learn that true monsters are made of flesh and blood.
This movie surprised me. I thought it was going to be yet another mediocre horror movie but there’s actually more to the story.
Yes, there are plenty of ghoulish scenes but they are actually quite important to the development of the main character, Edith. Mia Wasikowska definitely gives a strong performance throughout the movie. As does the entire cast.
The cinematography also adds a lot of texture and color to each scene. It gives the movie a very gothic yet industrial look.
There are also some shocking plot twists that really round out the story nicely.
If you’re interested in watching a horror movie with some depth to it than I highly recommend watching Crimson Peak.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 8 tamales! ūüėé

Green Room Movie Review 

‚ÄčGreen Room was not what I expected it to be but I found it intriguing nonetheless.
It starts out like some kind of low budget docu-drama about an unknown punk band touring the upper northwest coast. Like most bands, they endure the usual hardships: no food, no gas, no money. 
Then, right when they’re about to call it quits, they get offered a high paying gig at a club frequented by skinheads. They’re reluctant at first but decide to do it because… they gotta eat something other than ramen noodles.
It takes a while for the crowd to warm up to their brand of acerbic punk music but they get through their set unscathed. They get paid and quickly load up their equipment. Then their bassist realizes she left her cell phone charging in the green room (backstage area). Unfortunately, when they go to retrieve it, they walk into the aftermath of a horrific crime scene. Things become much more complicated after that.
Anton Yelchin (Rest In Peace) gives a strong performance as Pat, the street smart guitarist. Patrick Stewart also gives an interesting performance as Darcy, the head of that particular white supremacist group.
The ending leaves much to be desired but makes some sense. If you like psychological thrillers with a minimum amount of gore you might like Green Room.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give it 8 green tamales! ūüėé

Goosebumps Movie Review 

‚ÄčWhen I was a kid, during the good old 1990s, I was completely hooked on the Goosebumps series by R.L. Stine! I went through the books like Pez. (Pez candy was another thing I was hooked on in the 90s.)
If this movie had been made back then I definitely would’ve watched it over a hundred times in a row. That’s not to say I don’t like it at all.
Zach (Dylan Minnette) reluctantly moves to a small town with his mom but then quickly cheers up after meeting his next door neighbor’s beautiful daughter, Hannah (Odeya Rush). He starts hanging out with her regularly until her father puts a stop to it. Of course, this just motivates Dylan to sneak into their house and attempt to “rescue” Hannah from her strict father.
He then comes upon an entire bookcase filled with original Goosebumps manuscripts and realizes that Hannah’s father is in fact the infamous R.L. Stine (Jack Black). Unfortunately, by then it’s too late because the first of many creatures/monsters has been released and begins terrorizing the town.
Zach, Zach’s friend Champ, Hannah, and R.L. Stine then spend the rest of the movie trying to figure out how to get all of Stine’s creations back into their respective books. Which turns out to be easier said than done.
I really enjoyed watching all of the monsters and creatures run amuck. It definitely brought back some cool childhood memories of reading about them. Some of my favorites include: The Abominable Snowman, Slappy, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, and the enormous praying mantis from Shocker on Shock Street. 
Jack Black gives a decent performance as R.L. Stine but I don’t know why in some scenes he spoke with a terrible snooty British accent. Unless, that’s just his way of trying to inject some classic Black humor into the movie.
Overall, the Goosebumps movie makes for a very enjoyable and nostalgic experience. I only wish I had seen it in 3D when it was still in theaters. Hopefully, I’ll be able to do so whenever the sequel comes out.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give the Goosebumps movie 8 tasty tamales! ūüėé